here goes nothing

I was going to blog about so many things that happened, but like the forgetful person I am, you know it didn't happen. Today we hung out at Jessica's place. Finally got flan~~ She said she burnt it, but I couldn't really tell when eating it lol. We watched some shows and talked. Yun ;))))) Time went by pretty fast, I didn't even realize it was past 4 when we left for Lollicup. What's with me and not recognizing people nowadays lol. I even heard someone say my name, but I looked at the wrong person so lol. We sat down at the tiny table trying to fit 5 people lol. Talked about stuff, but it was kinda weird having my sister there lol. It was fun. I wished we hung out like that more when we could've. Like going to each other's houses and just sit around doing whatever lol. Oh yeah, her guinea pig was so soft~~~ but I was scared to hold it ehehe. I'm scared of tiny animals, idky LOL.

Last night, I sat outside eating a sugar donut. The sky was dark and the stars were shining brightly. The moon was high in the sky. It was breezy and quiet. The occasional cars drove by.  Andrew was playing basketball by himself and we were talking. It felt peaceful. Like I can finally, breathe.  I sat there thinking how nice it was when the world, well at least my side, was quiet and resting.  No distractions. No harsh lights. No shouting. Seemingly no worries.  The night is like an escape from the reality the day puts emphasis on. 

" Nobody can help me.                                        Come take my hand ." ... Hope is the light that guides us out of the darkness. Or rather, it shows us that there is still a way out.  Even if it's a small slither of light, we still hold on to it and believe.  When hope is lost, we become stuck in an empty void.  It feels so dark, cold, lonely. Like no one can come in or out.  We  can't see anything. We can't do anything.  The longer we are inside, the larger the toll it takes on us.  When all hope is lost, it becomes dangerous.  Don't give up until it's over.  After all, even hope is just something we create inside of us. If we try hard enough to keep it there, it'll be there. But don't mistake it for false hope.  If it's over, it's time to let go. 

if I'm so useless, why don't you throw me away.