here goes nothing

The last two-three days have been really hard on me physically and mentally. I blame myself for putting things away till the last minute, of course. I was so busy with the prelab, post lab, and the computational study that I didn't get to study at all for my two midterms I had the following day. I ended up sleeping at 4:38? I was wondering if I should even sleep at all. I had to wake up at 7AM and I did, but I closed my eyes for 2 seconds and it was 9:02 already. I had a class at 9....Luckily it wasn't the two classes where I had a midterm. The bio midterm was okay. Not confident, but I think it should be above 60%. Calc on the other hand...It was long as in time consuming and yeah. Problems weren't too hard, but so many calculations so little time. Thanks Dan -.- (Professor Jessie just sounds too weird for me cuz Jessie...lmao). Welp. No one I talked to or overheard actually finished the exam so...I'm praying he does something about it. I keep wondering if I to...

Sometimes I think about people and wonder if they ever think about me too. 

Isn't it scary how the evilest of evils are created inside our minds?

These few days were...a rough ride. Not just for me. So much to catch up on, so much to begin. So little time.  I've been eating huge meals at night because that's the only time I have to eat. Well, excuses.  I don't want to spend on food when I'm at school knowing there's plenty at home.  So...I just don't eat.  I'm worried for my body haha.... I need to fix my lifestyle.

fck, I'm crying.  I love you guys so much. 

There were many things I wish I could've done and said. There are still many things left to be done and said. What's passed cannot be changed and I know that. But it doesn't mean I believe that.

Do you know what it feels like to be lost? When you're lost, you have nothing to lose. But if you have nothing to lose, you have nothing to live for either. Everyday the thoughts gnaw at the back of my head: the questions, the doubts, the insecurities, the hopelessness, and the anxieties. What is unknown is much more discomforting than what is known. It may seem like there is nothing to lose, but you are essentially losing everything.