Have you ever just
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Showing posts from March, 2017
people i don't really talk to
"Who do you hang out with? What do you do for fun?" They're simple questions, but why did I hesitated to answer them? Maybe because there was no answer. I'm just stuck in my room all day, if not in class. Fun? What is fun? Haha..ha...ha... "You don't even talk to me anymore :( Where have you been going?" Yeah, but when did we really talk? What can we even talk about? Go talk to your girlfriend please. Call me cold-hearted, but it's better this way. Places. I've been going to a lot of places. In my mind, that is. Traveling to all the places that I could only wish to be at. I'm not purposely trying to avoid people, but I'm not putting the effort to interact either. In this world of connections and networking, how can I survive? "I miss you!!" Miss you too~ I'm becoming more and more unsure if these words are said out of obligation or do we really mean it.
Keyword: Meaning
I've been trying to find meaning. Trying to see how this could be meaningful to me, or even trying to make up a meaning. I couldn't find any of course, which is why I'm writing about this right now. I think it started somewhere in the middle of last quarter. I've always been a "procrastinator" but it started to get worse? It's just been downhill from then I guess you can say. It's beyond just procrastination and being lazy now. I've always questioned myself on what is the point of doing all this. I think I've always known deep down that there was no meaning in what I'm doing, but I'm just doing it to have something to do. I've considered giving up multiples times, but each time I have to lie to myself and pretend that there is meaning; that there is a destination after all this. All I have to do is just get it together and pull through, right? But I'm slowly losing my strength and my barely-there will to keep going.