Packing
I started packing yesterday. I actually thought I had a lot, but there wasn't much besides notebooks, books, and clothes.
I felt...nothing?
Like I wasn't particularly sad or happy to leave.
And again, I guess some things don't change.
Today I finished, well whatever I could pack since I didn't have much boxes or anything to put stuff in. Then I realized that I had a lot of useless stuff hehe.
I vacuumed. I threw stuff away. I cleared out my closet.
I have a lot of clothes, that I don't even wear lol.
My desk is still pretty messy right now.
So is the floor... eheh.
Oh, I found some stuff I didn't even know I had. Like extra, like a lot extra, tissue. When I thought I ran out so I've been going to the bathroom to blow my nose...
Ah...I had a nosebleed today too. I've gotten more frequent nosebleeds...is it to make up for all those years I've never had any? lol jk. Anyways, nosebleeds are weird. It drops down so fast, I knew something was wrong. I guess maybe because I've been sleeping late. Or not. I always slept late before. Is it not sleeping enough then? But then I slept like 10 hours besides that day I slept for 3 hours studying for chem. Which I failed. -sigh-
Anyways, things don't seem to be going good for me.
There's ongoing problems, then there's new problems.
I should really get help. But is it that necessary? I'm the type to wait until something is really serious to ask for help heh. I know it's not good.
Hidden problems and not so hidden problems.
I'm sitting here wondering what else to write because I've lost my train of thoughts.
Well, I took my last final today. I'm free now, I guess.
I don't know, but I think I passed.
Oh I passed lab! I was scared I failed the practical, but I got a pretty good score actually.
But passing the actually lecture class is another thing. bloop. welp. shit. lol.
What other news is there.
I actually don't want to go back.
1. The heat
2. The independence that I have here.
3. The people problems I'll have to deal with when I go back.
But I miss my friends, so of course I'll have to go back. It's really lonely here to be very honest. I didn't want to admit it, but it is. Seems like everyone's having fun except me kind of feeling? I guess I don't even want to join the fun really. Not with people I don't know. Yes I don't like people. I just don't trust people. This is why it's so hard to make friends. Well I guess I just don't want new friends. How does Zico have so many friend circles? And he seems pretty close to them all. How does he do it?
Well, I guess nothing's new. Nothing's old. Everything is just ongoing. Just either they get better or worse.
Oh, about the roommate problems. I wouldn't say there are big problems, because if you look at us there are no problems. On the outside. I guess I have complaints, but I don't know about her. Anyways, we get a long. I was just irritated that day, so I only thought about the negative things. I mean they weren't exaggerated or anything, but don't just take my words for it. Since you only see what I write and not everything. I'm not trying to make her look like a bad person, because she's not. It's just sometimes when she tries to tell my "life story" to everyone and thinks she knows me very well and speak for me I get annoyed. I guess now I remember why some of us didn't really like her. She's okay, I just wish she'd think about the other person before she talks about/for them. Words get twisted. Not everything is a joke. But...I still don't want to live together again.
I was gonna make this a reflection post about my time here, but it ended up not what I wanted it to be so I'll end it here. Maybe I'll write that post when it's my actual last day. Or when I get back.
I felt...nothing?
Like I wasn't particularly sad or happy to leave.
And again, I guess some things don't change.
Today I finished, well whatever I could pack since I didn't have much boxes or anything to put stuff in. Then I realized that I had a lot of useless stuff hehe.
I vacuumed. I threw stuff away. I cleared out my closet.
I have a lot of clothes, that I don't even wear lol.
My desk is still pretty messy right now.
So is the floor... eheh.
Oh, I found some stuff I didn't even know I had. Like extra, like a lot extra, tissue. When I thought I ran out so I've been going to the bathroom to blow my nose...
Ah...I had a nosebleed today too. I've gotten more frequent nosebleeds...is it to make up for all those years I've never had any? lol jk. Anyways, nosebleeds are weird. It drops down so fast, I knew something was wrong. I guess maybe because I've been sleeping late. Or not. I always slept late before. Is it not sleeping enough then? But then I slept like 10 hours besides that day I slept for 3 hours studying for chem. Which I failed. -sigh-
Anyways, things don't seem to be going good for me.
There's ongoing problems, then there's new problems.
I should really get help. But is it that necessary? I'm the type to wait until something is really serious to ask for help heh. I know it's not good.
Hidden problems and not so hidden problems.
I'm sitting here wondering what else to write because I've lost my train of thoughts.
Well, I took my last final today. I'm free now, I guess.
I don't know, but I think I passed.
Oh I passed lab! I was scared I failed the practical, but I got a pretty good score actually.
But passing the actually lecture class is another thing. bloop. welp. shit. lol.
What other news is there.
I actually don't want to go back.
1. The heat
2. The independence that I have here.
3. The people problems I'll have to deal with when I go back.
But I miss my friends, so of course I'll have to go back. It's really lonely here to be very honest. I didn't want to admit it, but it is. Seems like everyone's having fun except me kind of feeling? I guess I don't even want to join the fun really. Not with people I don't know. Yes I don't like people. I just don't trust people. This is why it's so hard to make friends. Well I guess I just don't want new friends. How does Zico have so many friend circles? And he seems pretty close to them all. How does he do it?
Well, I guess nothing's new. Nothing's old. Everything is just ongoing. Just either they get better or worse.
Oh, about the roommate problems. I wouldn't say there are big problems, because if you look at us there are no problems. On the outside. I guess I have complaints, but I don't know about her. Anyways, we get a long. I was just irritated that day, so I only thought about the negative things. I mean they weren't exaggerated or anything, but don't just take my words for it. Since you only see what I write and not everything. I'm not trying to make her look like a bad person, because she's not. It's just sometimes when she tries to tell my "life story" to everyone and thinks she knows me very well and speak for me I get annoyed. I guess now I remember why some of us didn't really like her. She's okay, I just wish she'd think about the other person before she talks about/for them. Words get twisted. Not everything is a joke. But...I still don't want to live together again.
I was gonna make this a reflection post about my time here, but it ended up not what I wanted it to be so I'll end it here. Maybe I'll write that post when it's my actual last day. Or when I get back.
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