"Passion was the only thing that got me where I am."

Passion. Goals. Happiness.

I'm not sure I know what they are anymore.

I don't want to merely be alive.
I want to feel alive.

I want to fill up this hollowness that I've felt for so long.

But how?

"Do what you want to do."

I don't even really know what I want to do.

I hate talking about the future, because I don't have a "future."
I don't see a "future" for myself. 
I can't see myself doing anything. '

I hate having to pretend that I do every time someone asks me.
Pretending that I know what I'm doing and know what I want in life,
Giving them lies of a fake image of "my future."

I'm tired. 
I'm tired of pretending everything is fine when it's not.
I'm tired of having to convince myself of these lies.

In the end,
I'm just tired
of myself.