here goes nothing

"It was the eyes. The soulless eyes that stared right back at me. I saw an endless void in its dark abyss. Drawing me in, pulling me closer.  As if it had its own gravity, everything was pulled into its vacuum. The world was stripped of its color, its vibrancy, its life. In a matter of seconds, something that was once so beautiful became desolate. It blinked. It blinked ever so innocently as if mocking at my foolish naivety.   A sense of despair overcame me. I couldn't turn away from those empty ebony eyes. It continued to gaze at me as if daring me to join them; to cross over to its grim, barren world. It was no longer a choice that I could make.  I was trapped in them. Or rather, they were trapped in me." [Euria Glaw]

Wow. 19. Nineteen. Almost halfway to 40, can you believe?! To be honest, when I realized it was my birthday that day I almost freaked out because I thought I was turning 20. I was like, "I'm this old already??" (Yes, Mina I know you're almost 20 lol). I was genuinely astonished for a few seconds until I remembered I was just 18 the day before haha. I guess it didn't really feel like a special day. I had lab, which ended early thank goodness. But I pretty much spent the day doing my pre-lab and post lab and going to classes. But, Because of a certain someone that I had a longggg phone call with, it was a good day lol. Thank you everyone for the birthday wishes~ I originally saved Steph's letter she gave me before I left for my birthday, but I forgot to read it on the day lol. I read it after haha. Thank you ♥ You're too cute! On Friday...yeah I think it was Friday lol. We went out to kbbq~ We went at nighttime and it was crowded so we ...

I know that's not a real word, but I couldn't think of a better word. Mind going blank. Sometimes I think my vocabulary is downgrading haha. Back to why I started this post. Separation. It is never an easy decision to leave something. Especially things or people you've become attached to and spent a considerable amount of time with. I think I take too many things for granted, yet I always question the existence and the duration of these things. Nothing lasts forever right? But I do believe some things do last forever. We may not see it, but it is always there. It will always be there. At least, I hope. I was gonna pour out my feelings because I cried earlier, but now I don't know what to write anymore lol. Nothing happened to me (although I do want to cry because of the calc midterm tomorrow ;;), but I just watched Gary's last episode on Running Man. (CRIES AGAIN) Aaaahhhh I don't know what's wrong with me. Stop tearing upppppp, who cutti...

The last two-three days have been really hard on me physically and mentally. I blame myself for putting things away till the last minute, of course. I was so busy with the prelab, post lab, and the computational study that I didn't get to study at all for my two midterms I had the following day. I ended up sleeping at 4:38? I was wondering if I should even sleep at all. I had to wake up at 7AM and I did, but I closed my eyes for 2 seconds and it was 9:02 already. I had a class at 9....Luckily it wasn't the two classes where I had a midterm. The bio midterm was okay. Not confident, but I think it should be above 60%. Calc on the other hand...It was long as in time consuming and yeah. Problems weren't too hard, but so many calculations so little time. Thanks Dan -.- (Professor Jessie just sounds too weird for me cuz Jessie...lmao). Welp. No one I talked to or overheard actually finished the exam so...I'm praying he does something about it. I keep wondering if I to...

Sometimes I think about people and wonder if they ever think about me too. 

Isn't it scary how the evilest of evils are created inside our minds?

These few days were...a rough ride. Not just for me. So much to catch up on, so much to begin. So little time.  I've been eating huge meals at night because that's the only time I have to eat. Well, excuses.  I don't want to spend on food when I'm at school knowing there's plenty at home.  So...I just don't eat.  I'm worried for my body haha.... I need to fix my lifestyle.